


Take the soul and my body too

by yellowhalcyon



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Kink Discovery, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier, the porn is the plot basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-25 18:40:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowhalcyon/pseuds/yellowhalcyon
Summary: They both understood Bucky needed to wait for the right moment to ask for this. But maybe he should have expected Steve might ask for it first.A smutty one shot based on TooManyBattles (Skarabrae_stone)’s wonderful fic.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Take the soul and my body too

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't Give it a Hand, Offer it a Soul](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23316880) by [TooManyBattles (Skarabrae_stone)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skarabrae_stone/pseuds/TooManyBattles). 



> Thanks, TooManyBattles (Skarabrae_stone), for permission to give your AU a go.
> 
> You don't need to read their fic first to understand anything here. But, if you want a great reserve Winter Soldier Stucky, alongside all the Avenger bonding scenes we've been missing out on, you really REALLY should, it's a very good piece of writing :D <3
> 
> Please enjoy mine as much as you can :)

Over a year into Bucky’s relationship with Steve, the man HYDRA made into their mindless killing machine known as the Winter Soldier, barely anything sexual had happened between them.

Bar, making out furiously on the couch.

Of which Bucky possessed absolutely zero problem with. Because Steve needed the time, the support, and the care before he would be ready to do any such thing.

They had talked about it, certainly. Gone into length on the subject and talked about what sex meant in a patient, non-sexual environment, answering all question Steve raised, regardless of how deep a blush some of them elicited in Bucky.

But Bucky knew, after all he’d been through, he needed to wait a long time for Steve to be fully ready. And so he did. The last thing he would want would be to unconsciously control him.

It wasn’t like they didn’t have a plethora of other things to get out of the way first.

Removing the remnants of HYDRA’s control from Steve’s mind took a lot of work and so much more pain. In fact, they only really started to make headway, and see some decent results, after their collaboration with the King of Wakanda.

Once Steve was cleared for the death of his father.

Bucky’s previous ties with the royal family helped somewhat. But the accusation kept being pushed for some reason.

Turned out a man, naming himself Zemo, had developed a sick fixation with Steve ever since he’d reappeared as Captain America. And until he was out of the way, it wouldn’t be over.

Once cleared, the King’s sister, a bright, young girl named Shuri, even took a liking to Steve and offered them a spot in Wakanda for him to safely finish his healing.

Bucky desperately wanted to take her up on it, but as Natasha rightfully put it, _there was no HYDRA in Wakanda_.

Steve seconded her on that.

Maybe once all this was truly over, they could settle down. But that notion, and any like it, lay far in the future. They both agreed on that one.

Neither of them would stop until all of HYDRA were either arrested or dead in the ground.

For now, on a much-needed day off, they sat in Bucky’s apartment, curled up on the sofa, watching one of the many movies Steve had missed out on. The notion of sex a far distant thought in Bucky’s mind, his plans for the evening involved making dinner with Steve, a bath, and them starting up another movie in bed.

As if on cue, one of the characters on screen started to eat and Bucky’s stomach promptly chose that moment, reading the room, to let out a loud rumble.

Never mind, it was time to eat now.

Stretching his arms up above his head to the sound of several clicking bones, Bucky rolled his left shoulder some extra.

Steve released his hold to give him some room and Bucky looked across at him, but Steve kept his eyes forward while he spoke.

“I’m thinking of ordering some takeout. You want anything specific? We could try that new pizza place that opened up down the block. Or I could possibly muster up enough energy for a curry.”

Steve eventually flicked his eyes over to him, remaining silent, which Bucky never had a problem with. Sometimes he didn’t know what to say, so said nothing. He’d given Bucky enough of an indication that he was listening at the least. That would be enough for the time being. He could get a full answer out of him when he fully decided what _he_ wanted to eat.

Bucky patted Steve’s thigh, feeling Steve’s eyes burning through his skull, and stood up. He got past the sofa, right up to the wall beside it, when a shiver ran down the tiny hairs at the back of his neck.

Whatever it had been, caused the hair to stand on end and he knew that meant. There was something right behind him. As he turned around to find himself suddenly face-to-face with Steve, he tried to contain his amazement. He hadn’t heard him move or even get up.

Steve had a distinct stare in his eyes, one Bucky had only ever seen on mission when his Winter Soldier training kicked in. A blinding focus, now pointed solely at him.

It quickly became rather intense.

“Steve?” Bucky tried gently.

Steve still didn’t speak. He merely stepped further forward and Bucky noticed he was pinned against the wall, only once it collided with his back.

Using the rest of his body, Steve kept Bucky there, still with the same sharp stare in his eyes. Yet he reached up a gentle hand to the v-gap of Bucky’s shirt, fiddling with the loose fabric between two fingers. He pulled at it enough, it caused another button to slip open. A chill blew down Bucky’s chest.

Steve’s gaze dropped down then, transfixed by the newly exposed skin. Slipping a thigh between Bucky’s legs, he left behind the shirt, and instead took both of Bucky’s wrists, manoeuvring his arms to up above his head, pushing his chest out. He still hadn’t said a word as he held Bucky there with one hand.

Normally Steve would have said something by now, anything. Any other time they had been this close, he would always be asking how for far was he allowed to go. Almost to the point it got annoying and Bucky would flip it around on the couch and practically shove himself in Steve’s arms to show him it was more than okay.

A dark pinch of worry rattled inside Bucky abruptly, at the prospect, was Steve the one really in control? He knew Steve would never hurt him, no matter the mind set, he’d fight to keep Bucky safe. But he couldn’t deny there was still a small thrill at being under the Winter Soldier’s mercy right now, rather than Steve’s.

“Steve?” Bucky tried again, put a bit more emphasis behind it.

That seemed to snap some attention from him and he looked to Bucky again.

Bucky struggled to read what it was he could be thinking. But whatever, it wasn’t going to be about food.

Steve didn’t touch him with the other hand. He leaned into Bucky’s puffed-out chest, into the side of Bucky’s head, until his face went out of view. He couldn’t go far with Bucky’s arm in the way but that meant he finally spoke, it was directly into Bucky’s ear.

“Bucky. I want—”

“Yeah?” Bucky said, interrupting him when he didn’t mean to but he was so tense. He let out a short exhaling breath in an attempt to calm down. Steve’s voice felt like hot honey running down his spine.

Steve eventually continued on, still pinning Bucky’s arms, “I want to be… inside you. I’m not sure with what, maybe all of it, my hands, my cock, my tongue,” he said like he wasn’t tipping Bucky’s world upside down. He paused to exhale against the sensitive skin of Bucky’s throat. “I don’t know why… but after we had that talk, I looked up some stuff and I want to do that with you.” The grip on Bucky’s wrists became tighter, although not enough to hurt his fleshy one. “I want you to enjoy it, though. I want you to feel good without any of the pain.”

“I know how,” Bucky said out to their living room. “I can show you what to do where it won’t hurt me.”

Steve pulled his head back and studied him. “You sure?”

The hesitation caused him to let go of Bucky’s arms and they flopped down to his sides.

Now free, Bucky reached up to cup Steve’s face with both hands. He hoped his metal hand wasn’t too cold. “I’ve had it done to me before and I trust you,” he said, meaning it.

Steve thought through all that for a moment longer, his brow creasing.

Within such close reach, Bucky wanted to smooth it over with his thumb, but he let Steve think what he needed to think, while still pinned mostly to the wall.

“You’ll like that?”

“I will,” Bucky said, “I can show you how to make it good for both of us.” He moved his hands to Steve’s shoulders, suddenly aware of that leg lingering between his thighs. “Steve, I have to ask, are you sure you want this?”

“Completely. I want you, Buck, with my whole being. I want you so bad, it’s making me feel uncontrollable.” Steve sunk into him then.

Bucky felt lips dance over his throat, Steve’s beard grazed his skin. A hand snaked around his back and went under his shirt, reeling him in closer like a fish caught on a line.

“Well, you’ve got me,” Bucky said, holding on for dear life. He dove a hand into Steve’s lengthening hair, grinding his hips as a moan rippled through him and Steve’s lips began sucking a bruise on his throat. He felt so ready and knowing Steve did too made his arousal heighten faster.

Until his stomach let out a loud rumble and decidedly killed the mood.

“Maybe we should still have some food, first...” Bucky said.

Steve fully pulled back, planted a sweet kiss on Bucky’s nose, and they put a pin in it for now until they’d had dinner first.

¬

Steve had never been so sure of something in his life.

After they finished dinner and set the dishes to dry on the sink rack, Bucky took him by the hand, lead him to the bedroom. With washing up bubbles still on the tips of his fingers, he pulled Steve in for a kiss.

Using an arm around his waist, Steve pulled Bucky’s body right up against his until they were flush together, chest-to-chest. Close like this, he could feel Bucky’s breathing and, if he concentrated hard enough, his heartbeat. But kissing Bucky back usually took precedence.

Bucky rubbed his back in small circles, lips still locked together. A warm hand of his snaked under the back of Steve’s shirt and he pulled away to peel it off.

Steve let himself be stripped.

Tossing the shirt away somewhere, Bucky ran his palms over the shape of Steve’s bare shoulders, down to coarse hair across Steve’s pecs and the rest of his chest, pausing over his heart.

There always remained a slight temperature difference in each hand. It seemed his metal one would always struggle to keep up with Bucky’s natural body heat, but both felt equally nice on Steve’s skin, if a little tickly.

Bucky leaned in and mirrored the path with his mouth along Steve’s throat, down to his chest, where he took a nipple in between his teeth.

Steve couldn’t fight the moan that escaped from the back of his throat.

Bucky guided Steve’s hands next and placed them around his waist, sliding them under his shirt to the warm skin below. Tugging it up, together, they pulled the fabric up and over Bucky’s head.

Steve had seen Bucky shirtless within a week of meeting him, had already put his hands to his body for an impromptu massage as an apology for almost shooting him. And, more importantly, as proof he wanted to represent something good. He was more than what HYDRA made him to be and he could use his hands to heal, not only to wield a gun and inflict hurt.

Bucky undid his own belt. In one motion, he hooked under the rim of his underwear and pushed them both to the floor.

It always felt like a privilege to see Bucky like this, regardless of the context. And Steve looked. Looked at Bucky’s legs that seemed to go on forever, coated in thick, messy hairs, at his flush cock in the space between strong thighs, up his chest, the scars that riddled his left shoulder, and up to his face.

Bucky had been watching him take a look, a rosy blush evident on his cheeks, spreading quickly. He smiled. Something shone in his eyes, something Steve couldn’t quite pinpoint but it made him want to shorten the distance between them, to put his hands and mouth on Bucky’s body.

He couldn’t stop himself.

Bucky met him halfway, his own hands grasping and pulling at Steve. He drew them both closer to the bed and pushed Steve down onto the mattress behind, climbing onto his lap immediately, naked and grinding his hips into Steve’s gradually tenting pants.

Steve registered in the moment, this would be the furthest they’d ever gone in terms of physical intimacy. They would be taking their relationship to a whole new level and he tried to listen to the growing evidence telling him that both of them were happy with this, to relax, stop running it around in his mind and actually enjoy it.

Steve rushed to remove the final piece of clothing left dividing them, fumbling the buckle open and shoving the whole thing down his thighs. The jeans barely made it to his knees as Bucky kept stealing his attention away with deep, sucking kisses. It was becoming a struggle not to get swept away by him and everything he was doing, not that Steve minded much.

If anything, Bucky's enthusiasm ignited a similar feeling within himself and washed away any doubt that this would be a bad idea. He encouraged Steve to explore his body how he liked, touch where he wanted. A particular high groan came from him when Steve smoothed palms over Bucky’s ass and up to the small of his back. So he did it again.

Bucky’s ass was the main reason for this all, for his initiation into sex. Steve had been searching online and managed to find some online forums talking about techniques, and experiences, and instructions from real life people. Stuff about internal massage and performing good oral, how to make it feel really nice for the other person. He’d spent a whole evening on there and before he knew it – also thanks to the serum-soaked brain turning reading into a breeze – he’d ended up reading the entire site page, head to toe.

Now, he really wanted to act out said things on someone, more specifically Bucky, who seemed more than eager to volunteer himself and receive it.

Between all this, Bucky didn’t stop kissing him. His lips rarely left Steve’s for more than a second and his hands cupped Steve’s face as if to pull him impossibly closer.

“Can I…” between quick kisses, Steve said, “…can I suck you?”

“You can do anything to me,” Bucky said in breathless excitement. “Whatever you want.”

What he wanted was to start this off by sucking Bucky.

Pushing his side, he got Bucky to roll off him and onto his back. Now in the centre, Bucky’s dick stood up prominent from his body. His lips had become a flushed red from all the kissing and he looked a little dazed but sobered up enough as soon as Steve got to his feet to finally remove the rest of his clothes.

Leaning over him, Bucky’s knees bent at the rim of the mattress, feet barely touching the ground. They moved in sync, Bucky spread his thighs and Steve crouched in the gap between.

He became face-to-face with Bucky’s dick. Smoothing flat palm up Bucky’s thighs, he searched out where he wanted to touch first.

Bucky eyed him all the while. He was lent up on his elbows, staring as if he couldn’t look away even if he tried.

It helped. It kept them in the same moment and acted as a crucial gage when Steve reached out to grasp the shaft, tilting Bucky’s dick towards his open mouth. He took him in as far as it would go.

A long, drawn out moan escaped Bucky’s throat and he hung his head back.

Tentatively, Steve tried to push himself further down. But realised very quickly this was going to take more work and a skill he’d have to build upon with time. He could still get the job done like this. Licking and sucking at the skin, he bobbed up and down a few times.

Bucky responded with mostly moaning exhales. His hips moved, twitched about under Steve like he was fighting against something.

Steve pulled off, placed sucking kisses slowly up the shaft and then buried his face in the crease of Bucky’s hip joint.

A hand slid into his head and Steve nuzzled up into it.

Bucky hummed from above him. “Oh god, your beard feels amazing,” he said. “Would you hate me if I asked you to never shave again? Cause I’m thinking I want to ask.”

Prompted further, Steve continued to nuzzle along the stretch of skin on the inside thigh, feeling his beard rub and scratch up against Bucky’s coarse leg hair. It burned a little for him, but Bucky seemed to really enjoy it. His breath hitched when Steve turned his head and opened his mouth to nip and bite at his pulp flesh.

Bucky gasped. “Really want to ask…”

Steve made sure not to bite down too hard for the first one. Lapping his tongue at the freshly forming grooves, “can’t be the only thing you want to ask me,” Steve said. He pulled off and immediately took Bucky’s dick back into his mouth.

Bucky arched off the bed and that had Steve wondering if he’d even heard him. Although, he could see how the way he was swirling his tongue at the slit could be considered very distracting.

He thought Bucky might not answer until he felt the hand in hair squeeze it from the scalp.

“Well… there is one thing…” Bucky said, breath coming in heavy, “since you suggested it… I thought you could—”

Steve pulled off all the way to indict he really was listening and really did want to know what Bucky would say.

Bucky still needed a moment to recover and that made a flurrying rush pass through Steve’s chest. He was the one pleasing Bucky but Bucky’s reactions were starting to do a number on him, regardless.

What Bucky said next nearly sent him crashing through the roof.

“I want to feel your cock inside me.”

Steve’s mouth went dry. His eyes darted down to where Bucky’s legs met his backside and knew instantly he wanted that as well.

Bucky’s hand brushed under his chin, surprising him a little, jerking his attention back. Bucky tilted Steve’s head up to meet his gaze and asked softly, “is that something you’d be up for, sweetheart?”

Steve nodded. Trying to find his words, he knew this was something Bucky would need to hear. “Yeah… I’m up for it.”

Bucky didn’t let him go yet, however. His thumb stroked up against Steve’s bottom lip, almost absentmindedly, and then the distance between them shortened.

Steve came out of the kiss to ask, “you want me to stop sucking you off then?”

“No way.”

He could agree there. He pushed Bucky back in one second and had his mouth back on him the next. His fingers went searching below, delving in between the cleft of Bucky’s ass. The idea to have his mouth there instead abruptly popped into his thoughts. The desire overcame him. He couldn’t reach enough from this side. Pulling back, he coaxed Bucky onto his stomach.

Bucky was surprisingly pliable in Steve’s hands, his breath audibly hitching as he was rolled onto his front, making no effort to prevent him, however.

Steve smoothed his palms over Bucky’s supple cheeks and liked the feel of firm muscle under his hands, under his control. He brought his lips up to the top of the cleft, eyes on Bucky the whole time.

But he couldn’t see his face from this angle, Bucky had it to the side. His hair an absolute mess from where he’d been running his hands through it, brunette locks all stuck up at all odd angles.

Nothing about him seemed to be saying no. Nonetheless, they hadn’t talked about anything like this. Steve needed to clarify for peace of mind. “Can I kiss you here?”

“ _Yes_!” Bucky cried out.

Steve didn’t need telling twice. Parting Bucky’s cheeks, he buried his face in the crack between. He felt Bucky full-body shudder as he started to lick and suck at the sensitive skin hidden here. It tasted of soap, sweat, and a dark musk. Steve didn’t really think too hard on it, more preoccupied with the effect it was having on Bucky.

The advice from online became a distant memory in the back of his mind, as in the moment, all he could focus on was his actions and what they made Bucky do in response. The way he groaned, and shivered, arched up against his face and called out his name.

Steve did remember one thing. Retreating back, he grabbed Bucky’s bottle of lube from the nightstand. He checked the label for whether it might be inedible and nothing came up to the contrary. That being the case, he smothered his fingers and planned to dive back into Bucky’s crack, before remembering another thing.

He needed to _tease_.

Circling a wet finger around the rim, Steve waited until Bucky let out a whine, then pushed the finger inside.

Bucky exhaled on a sweet groan, pushing his ass up to meet the intrusion.

Steve didn’t dip it in that far, though, before pulling out and going back to the circling. Bucky protested that before he leant down and replaced the finger with his tongue.

Bucky’s next whine came out along with some words. “Steve, please,” he said.

Steve felt a hand pushing at his face. He pulled back immediately. “Did I do something wrong?”

Bucky was already shaking his head as he shuffled further up on the bed into a seated position.

Steve followed suit and sat up right.

“No, no, never, you feel amazing,” Bucky said. “But it’s getting too good and I’d prefer you inside me when I come.”

Steve nodded, his heart rate quickening at the concept. “I understand.”

Bucky drew his legs up and twisted around on the bed. “I mean, we could keep this going all night but if I don’t feel you inside me within the next few minutes, I might actually go insane,” he said and held out a hand presumably for the only thing Steve was holding, the bottle of lube.

Steve knew what he’d meant by that. But it was still such an odd way of saying it.

Bucky sensed hesitation, nonetheless. “Everything okay, sweetheart?” his hand instead went up to caress Steve’s cheek. “You having second thoughts? We can always stop here for the night, if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Steve said. He took a moment to find the correct words. “I don’t want to stop. You just… say the strangest things sometimes.”

Bucky only smiled and used the hand already on his face to draw him in for a kiss. Taking the lube bottle, he smothered his fingers in a similar fashion. His hand disappeared behind his back as Bucky closed his eyes on a contented expression.

Steve knew exactly what he was doing back there. He bit his lip. “Can _I_ try?”

Bucky looked hesitant but soon nodded, nonetheless. He withdrew his hand, gave Steve the bottle, and began to turn around.

Steve’s fingers were still pretty wet. He added some more lube though, just in case. Bucky planted a hand on each cheek and pulled them apart to expose himself.

Circling his rim again just to hear him whimper once again, Steve put them both out of their misery and gently pushed two fingers inside. He hadn’t had a chance to last time, so got to know this space inside by scissoring them up and down, not really sticking to any rhythm.

Until Bucky jerked forward. “Slower, _slower_ , please.”

Steve stilled his fingers, although didn’t pull out yet. “I haven’t hurt you, have—”

“No. No, you’re just…” Bucky rolled his shoulders, shifting around his weight on his own legs, “very enthusiastic, it would seem. You haven’t hurt me at all so far,” he reassured, “so stop fussing.”

Spurred on, Steve continued his ministrations, but tried his best to keep them at half speed. He really wanted to get his mouth down there again, it had Bucky making such sweet sounds. The current angle did nothing to help do that, though, so he settled instead for kissing across Bucky’s shoulders.

Bucky exhaled from it, leaning his weight back into Steve’s chest. “Ah that feels so good… I really want to let you make me come from this.”

“Why not?”

Bucky turned his head to the side. “Another time. Tonight, I want it to be your cock.”

Steve seized the opportunity to kiss him. Adding a third, he moved his mouth in rhythm with his fingers and a small tiny part of him was thankful for his serum powered concentration. Feeling Bucky practically melt against his frame, almost made all the torture and pain worth it to get him here giving Bucky nothing but pure pleasure.

Their mouths parted, but Bucky kept his head close, nuzzling against his nose and forehead. “I’m open enough, Steve.”

Steve had to nearly force himself to remove his fingers from Bucky’s body, but felt reassured that he would soon be pleasing him with something else. Maybe something better because it would please them both simultaneously.

Bucky turned away to snatch something from the bed stand. “I’m going to put a condom on you, okay?” he said and Steve picked up on the sudden seriousness in his tone. “It’ll keep things less messy.”

“Sure,” Steve said. He understood why Bucky felt the need to make excuses here. But he would do whatever Bucky needed to feel more comfortable, regardless of how it might make things feel for him.

Bucky’s fingers were a feather light touch on his dick and did nothing to relieve the pressure in his belly.

Once fully protected, Bucky stroked his fist up and down a few times, then looked up to lock eyes with Steve, an excited smile on his face. “Let’s get this in me,” he said and Steve nodded in agreement.

They made sure to be in the centre of the bed, to give them the best balance and in case either decided to change it up. He got his hands on Bucky again once he turned back around, rubbing up and down his arms as Bucky got comfortable on his knees. Steve took a hold of his dick and lined it up.

Slipping inside of Bucky was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. His whole body felt like it was on fire, culminating right down at his cock as it became enveloped by the wet heat of Bucky’s walls. He wanted to take it very slow and careful, and bottomed out inside Bucky as quickly as possible.

He let said man be his guide for that, reading everything he could from every noise Bucky made and the movement of the muscles across his back.

Bucky shifted his hips around, back and forth. Steve felt him clench and unclench around him. “They really did enhance _every_ inch of you, huh?” he said along with a breathy chuckle.

Steve laughed too, although couldn’t deny his concern at the meaning behind that statement. “Do you think it’ll be too much?”

“Are you kidding? Not to toot my own horn but, on occasion, I think I’ve possibly had _more_ than this up there.” Bucky reached back to tap at Steve's thigh.

Steve kissed along his shoulder. “We’ll build up to that.”

Bucky was nodding. He clenched and unclenched again. “For now,” he said, “you can… start to move and I’ll tell if it gets too much.”

Steve gave an experimental slide back and forth. He was watching Bucky to check that what he did wouldn’t be hurting him but, after a while, it became impossible to look away.

Bucky was magnificent. He closed his eyes, tilted his head back as Steve continued to move inside him, slowly building up speed, finding a rhythm. Gradually, his jaw went slack, lips parting, mouth falling open, and a groan rolled out of him from deep within his chest.

Steve slid his hand up, ran it up over the expanse of Bucky’s exposed throat, then lingered there. He felt the vibrations from under the skin this time when Bucky moaned again. He kept up the pace until he was pounding into Bucky. He watched him shiver and twitch, shifting his hips to get everything Steve was giving. “How does it feel?” he asked, checking in.

“So _good_ , Steve,” Bucky gasped. “You feel _amazing_ , don’t stop—ah!”

Steve felt Bucky grasp back at his hip. He tried to go a little faster but it became harder and harder to keep an eye on Bucky while the pressure was built up inside him. He had to slow down and Bucky let out a breathy exhale, unable to move his head down, however, from where Steve still had a hand across his throat.

Upon realising this, Bucky whimpered and his grip on Steve’s thigh tightened. His hand made of metal came up to join Steve’s at his throat. Maybe in case he had the idea to remove it.

Still moving, Steve kissed around the stringy scarred tissue of Bucky’s shoulder. He always noticed the soft looks Bucky gave him when he touched him there, when he treated his arm like it was no different from the other.

Steve also liked the way the scars felt against the sensitive skin of his lips.

Moving along, he brought his mouth all up until he was speaking directly against the shell of Bucky’s ear. “We need to do this facing each other. I want to see your face while I fuck you. But, slowly. I want to watch as you feel each slide of my cock, keep you on the edge for hours until you’re begging me to let it stop. And then I’ll likely keep going just to hear you beg a little more.”

Gasping for air, Bucky struggled on his next breath as Steve continued to move inside him. “What has gotten into you, Steve?” Another load of shivers ran through him, his hips twitching around, unable to keep still. “Touch me. _Please_. Touch me here.” He then pulled the hand off his throat and down to his cock.

Steve stroked up to the full length, slowly. It was warm and wet when he got to the tip.

“Like that, yes, feels so good.”

In all the sharp thrusts and the moaning, something primal overcame Steve. “Beg for it,” he said, demanded.

He didn’t know where all this was coming from. But Bucky appeared to be revelling in it and that spurred him on more than anything else.

Bucky became an incomprehensible mess after that, letting his mouth run and spewing out whatever he could as Steve punched his hips into him over and over again. “Please, please, _please_ ,” the words left Bucky’s lips like a mantra. “That’s so good, sweetheart, I’m so close. Right there, Steve. _Stevie_. Right there. God, I think the best I’ve ever had. You’ve got it, you’ve got it, all yours.” For a second, he paused to take a breath.

Steve didn’t stop his thrusting hips.

Bucky braced a hand on the arm Steve now had wrapped across his hip, audibly licking his lips, with a sudden determination to get out whatever he was about to say next.

And with good reason.

“Steve I… god, I love you so much.” Bucky went tense and his cock pulsed in Steve’s hand.

“ _Bucky_ …I-I—” was all Steve could get out before he tipped over the edge, moments later.

If ordered to put it into words, he couldn’t fully describe what happened to him in that moment.

Something, an indescribable sensation, washed over him, _through_ him. His vision blacked out from either short-circuiting his brain or because his eyes closed, he couldn’t tell. For a blinding minute, he felt nothing but overwhelming _pleasure_. A small part of him worried about his body tipping over and squashing Bucky’s so he managed to lock his limbs as the sensation climaxed and then began to fade out.

Steve came to with Bucky collapsed in his arms. His head hung back on Steve’s shoulder as he struggled for breath, chest rising and falling with each intake. A thin sheen of sweat covered their bodies.

Steve lowered them both gently to the bed, still interlocked in the middle.

Bucky only gave a small indication he was still alive via a breathy whimper and searched out one of Steve’s hands.

They laid like that for a long while, supported by the soft, sticky pillows and sheets.

Until Steve’s cock softened enough, it started to get uncomfortable inside Bucky. He went to pull back when a hand abruptly clamped down around his wrist.

“Wait,” Bucky said, still a little breathless, “before you slip out… pinch at the condom so it doesn’t… slide off as you leave.”

Steve’s head whipped downwards. The room didn’t have the best of light right now but he managed to spot the transparent sheen. Pinching it as he pulled out from inside Bucky and the condom off his dick.

Bucky rolled around and, sitting up, held out his hand. “Let me handle that,” he said, taking the slimy, limp rubber. He rolled away then, to the sit at the side of the bed to deal with it.

That left Steve alone on his side. Without the heat of Bucky’s body and his own moving around, the cold draft of the room crept quickly over his sweaty skin. He drew his legs up to counteract it, but suddenly felt rather awkward in his nude state, sat on the bed, Bucky’s back to him.

He had just shared a very emotional experience with someone he already felt so much for. An experience that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever done beforehand. A lot of emotions lingered, still fresh, on the edge of Steve’s thoughts.

Above all, he really wanted to hold Bucky some more.

_Would Bucky want that too?_

Steve didn’t even know for sure why he was questioning this. But the chance of being rejected made the worry in his chest beat stronger.

When Bucky finished and turned back to look over his shoulder, Steve asked, meekly, “can we… cuddle?”

To his delight, Bucky’s face lit up. “Certainly, sweetheart,” he said and immediately shuffled up across the bed into Steve’s open arms.

Bucky was as sweaty and warm as to be expected. But Steve squeezed him in close, hauling a leg across his thighs to lock them together.

Settling in his embrace, Bucky started to hum, probably unconsciously, while Steve stroked a hand up from his between his shoulder blades into the thick locks of hair that now clung to his neck. The sweat had brought back the natural curliness to his hair and all their strenuous activities had made it stick up in a rather adorable, un-styled way across his head. Along with the fresh flush to his face and the way he couldn’t stop the smiling, Steve became memorised all over again.

He repeated the caress down Bucky’s back over and over until the man in his arms sighed and sunk further onto his chest like an oversized cat, Steve thought.

“Bucky,” he said and felt, more than saw, him perk up, “I’m not sure I’ve… ever felt that good before. Did it,” the explosion of heat across Steve’s face made this feel like such a silly question to ask, but he didn’t let that stop him, “feel good for you?”

Bucky sighed once more, snuggling back down. “I think I made that very clear. But if you’re still slightly unsure then trust me,” he walked his fingers up Steve’s chest and gave his nose a small flick, which Steve figured he probably deserved, “it felt _real_ good.”

Jutting his head out, Steve followed that finger back and snapped his jaw like he was pretending to eat it.

Bucky giggled. “I don’t know if it’s because we waited a long time or I’m just out of practice,” he said, sighing again, the fatigue finally catching up, “but that’s some of the best I’ve ever had and I don’t say that lightly. You’re a natural, Steve.”

“Thanks. I want to do more things with you. But only the things that keep you feeling good.”

Bucky slipped from his hold then to sit upright. “It doesn’t have to be all pain free. Pain can still have a place during sex and it doesn’t stop people from enjoying it. I don’t mind it a bit rough sometimes, pinning my wrists down or tying me up. And there’s also hair pulling or _spanking_.”

Steve gulped.

And Bucky didn’t fail to miss his certain interest there, knew him too well not to. They had briefly covered it when discussing kinks in the past. He leaned forward, voice turning low and eyes going dark. “Is that something you think you’d like, darling? Do you wanna spank me, sweetheart? Bend me over your lap and spank me until my ass is bright red, then hold me down and fuck me ‘til I forget my own name. Is that what you want, Steve?”

Steve couldn’t breathe. Bucky’s face was so close to his own, his breath ghosted over Steve’s lips. It took all his strength to get out the word, “yes.”

With those words the tension spoken was broken. Steve gave into the hunger inside him and lunged forward onto Bucky, began devouring him in earnest.

Bucky kissed back with similar enthusiasm. His hands went straight to Steve’s back, reeling him closer. “I want that too,” he said in between a quick succession of lips against lips, “and I trust you do it to me right.”

Steve moved to Bucky’s neck and, with nothing but a thin sheet between them slowly slipping away, before long he would have Bucky squirming and moaning and grinding up from underneath him.

Except this time, something bitter swirled around in Steve’s chest and it made him give pause.

After the beat of silence, Bucky’s voice came from beside him, “what’s wrong?”

He had asked it gently so Steve knew he wasn’t mad. But he still needed a long moment to bring his breathing under control. Eventually, he brought his head back up. “I think… I would need time to trust myself to do that to you. Is that okay?”

Bucky smiled a soft smile. He put his hand to Steve’s cheek and it was a struggle not to turn his head to kiss at the palm. “It always will be, Steve.” His gaze became serious, “we just tried something brand new for you, I want us to take all the time needed to properly process this. I’ve said from the beginning, I’d never want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. We can even talk with Dr. Falsworth about it, if that’s something you wanted to bring up with her?”

Steve initially cringed at that suggestion. Dr Falsworth had done miracles for their relationship so far. But they’d never gone this personal with her before.

He was sure Bucky would find an appropriate way to bring it up. Or the good Dr would point them in the right direction for the kind of psychiatrist they could have that conversation with.

Honestly, Steve didn’t linger on this prospect for long. He found it increasingly hard to concentrate now he’d gotten a look at Bucky’s current state. All the adorable curls he knew from before, with a fresh attractive flush to his lips and cheeks.

“Yeah. I think that will be good. I mean it _will_ be. Sorry, you’re really beautiful,” Steve said all in one.

Bucky laughed and it sounded a little like heaven. “You’re not too bad yourself,” he said, tracing the edge of Steve’s hair line. Then sighing he added with a grimace, “I’m gonna need to change these sheets.” He pointed a finger into Steve’s bare pec. “And _you_ need to shower.”

“Bucky, can I?” Steve said and quickly carried on before Bucky could protest, “this was my idea, and I-I don’t mean it like that, but I wanted to look after you completely. So please let me change the bed, while you first shower.”

“Okay,” Bucky said like it was easy. “Gotta roll off me first, big guy.”

Steve definitely needed more than a minute to climb off of Bucky. He sent him away to the showers with a light slap on the firm swell of his ass cheek. Bucky threw a testing look over his shoulder, but Steve just shooed him onwards.

Eventually, he heard the water switch on in the other room.

With military fast precision, Steve changed the bed out of its current sheets and forced on new ones. He popped the dirty sheets in the laundry basket and, leaving the duvet in a heap on the mattress, dashed into the shower to join Bucky in a somewhat undignified manner if anyone had been observing him.

Bucky had his back to him under the spray of water. “Can you get my back?” he said, acknowledging Steve’s arrival from behind.

“Sure,” Steve slipped into the cubical to take the bottle of shower gel. He poured a plum-sized blotch in his hand and began to massage it into the muscles across Bucky’s shoulder blades. They’d done this so many times before he knew all the right spots to make Bucky become putter in his hands.

In the heat of the shower, the proximity of their bodies, a wave of affection overcame him and Steve couldn’t help letting slip, “love you too.”

Bucky twirled around in his arms, a frown on his face.

Steve quickly realised why it was there and hurried to add on, “because when y-you said… while we….” He took a breath, trying to get his words out and Bucky waited patiently, as he always did, with nothing but a soft smile. “I love you so much as well,” he simply stated, swearing the renewing smile Bucky gave had his heart swelling a few sizes.

“I know.”

Steve soon found himself being spun around and shampoo poured into his hair.

Hours later, they were slipping into bed when Bucky stated in all sincerity, “I really glad you asked for this, Steve. Feel free to ask me again, whenever. And whatever you wanna try, we can give it a go.”

“I will. I sorta have a list...” Steve admitted, slightly sheepish.

At that, Bucky laughed. “Already? No rest for the wicked, huh?”

Maybe he should have left it a little longer.

But it was Bucky’s fault for helping Steve in the shower like that. “Next time,” he said, “I want you to fuck me.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun to do, so thanks for giving it a read! <3
> 
> If you'd like to comment, you'd have my undying appreciation and, if not, thanks for giving it a chance anyways.
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://yellowhalcyon.tumblr.com/).


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